Women and Children First by Van Halen – My Favourite Album

To you its just another piece of cardboard with a slice of plastic inside. There are some words on the front and back and a couple of photos of some gentlemen with long hair and dodgy dress sense. The words on the front indicate that it is “Women and Children First” by Van Halen. It is their third album. I bought it when it came out in May 1980. It is my favourite album in the whole world. It is just over 33 minutes long. Every single nanosecond is, to my ears, perfect. It has nine tracks. One of those tracks is called “Everybody Wants Some!!” It contains an Eddie Van Halen guitar break that still makes me weep. Alex Van Halen’s drumming is like a pummelling from those giant cotton buds they used to have on Gladiators and they now have on Total Wipeout. Michael Anthony’s bass rumbles through your body like a hug from your favourite uncle. Dave Lee Roth sings like the rogueish boyfriend of your teenage daughter who you don’t want to like but you kind of do.

It’s the sound of a band so together, playing as one, personal battles put aside for the common good and this album is so uncommonly good. My world is a better place with this piece of cardboard and plastic in it. I don’t care if you only know Jump by Van Halen, I don’t care if you think I’m crazy ‘cos a Van Halen album is my favourite of all time, I frankly couldn’t give a toss if I was the only man alive who loves this album and I certainly wouldn’t care a jot if Van Halen themselves said they hated this album and anyone who likes it is an idiot and should be sectioned.

Anyone familiar with them will know that it’s the first Van Halen album that is the bonafide classic that all metal fans must own, and while I entirely agree it’s essential, its this one – Women and Children First – that is the one that makes me go doolally.