Review of Astral Mantras of Dyslexia by Funeral In Heaven/Plecto Aliquem Capite

Now, if you're familiar with any of the above two bands then I apologise for telling you something you're already aware of. But I suspect, like me, you will not know them and thus a bit of background might help.

This is a line from the press release: Sri Lanka’s psychotic auditory terrorists and the legionaries of the 666th battalion of the Raavan cult have congregated to create, manifest and aid world spiritual warfare.

Okay, got that?

Me neither.

Basically, I think it means two bands have got together to make an unholy racket. I can't work out whether they all play on all the songs or whether they've got three each and then just link up on the last track.

Either way, I'll try and give you a flavour of what the whole thing sounds like.

The first track is mainly Sri Lankan ethnic instruments with, possibly, some guitars right at the back giving an extra layer. Its actually really quite agreeable although I've never been a fan of world music for longer than five minutes at a time.

The next track is more obvious slow-paced black metal with some chanting and familiar screeching vocals in the background. Again, its moderately interesting although it has made its case by about the 5 minute mark but actually lasts over 12.

Third track is a grinding heavy riff working with some ethnic drums and more chanting. Then it surprises me with some genuine vocals. Not quite singalong but getting there. Some really nice guitar work later in the track, too.

The fourth track I presume is played by some kind of violin-sounding Sri Lankan instrument. It might simply just be a violin, of course. Some information on the press release might have been a better idea, rather than some weird stream of consciousness blurb.

The fifth track is the "infamous" Stoned Guru Ramblings and a more accurate track title you could not hope to find, although I have no idea why it is "infamous". Again, why not use the press release to explain some stuff?

This track is almost the auditory version of a snuff movie. Some people might find that diverting. It kinda washed over me though.

We get more of the same on the final two tracks. They are not without merit but by now I'm beginning to think I need to get some ironing done.

So, a not wholly unpleasant experience. Probably sounds weird and scary in headphones but it does go on a bit. If you're into your black metal and shit then I'd give it a go, but I wish these bands could be more informative in a press release rather than read like a tormented teenager's effort in creative writing.

Review of The Shadows Compendium by Stephan Forte

Stephan Forte is the main man in Adagio, one of the leading lights of the neo-classically tinged metal genre. He is a technically stellar guitarist and boy does he want you to know it.

Widdle widdle widdle widdle widdle all the way through this album.

It almost seems churlish of me to point it out but playing a thousand notes a minute does not a great song make. (This whole album is instrumental but you get my drift.)

All the tracks are accomplished and utterly forgettable the moment they finish. In fact, they achieve the impossible. They are forgettable while you're still listening to them.

With reference to a previous blog of mine, I am happy to inform you that I listened to this album three times before completing my review.

Once would have been enough.

PS If you're thinking this is too short and too blunt, don't worry about it. Anything I say won't make a blind bit of difference to fans of this kind of stuff. Which is just as it should be.

In memory of Mark Reale

Only just discovered that 2012 has already claimed the life of someone who featured heavily (ahem) in my metal education.

Mark Reale was the main man in a band called Riot. In June 1977 Riot released their first album called Rock City and while its not a classic it does include three tracks that I regard as utterly essential: Warrior, Rock City and Overdrive.

There is not a metalhead alive who should not own this album for those three tracks. Remarkably, the album originally never got a US release and I think that's because at least on these three tracks Riot were ahead of their time.

Warrior is closest in spirit and pace to Exciter by Judas Priest, which was released nearly a year later, though Priest had released Sin After Sin a couple of months before Rock City appeared. I've always wondered whether Priest heard Riot or Riot heard Priest. I guess I'll never know.

So Warrior is the belt along. Rock City is the crunching mid-tempo rocker, and Overdrive has the slow start before it all kicks into gear and races along to the finish line. Both Warrior and Overdrive feature brilliant, melodic, soaring solos by Mark Reale.

These three songs are so much better than anything else on the album it is breathtaking. I always wanted to ask Mark Reale how these three came about in particular. Missed my chance on that, too.

Riot's next two albums (Narita and Fire Down Under) were stronger albums overall but neither contained any truly classic tracks, although if you haven't got them you must hunt them down. You really must.

Rock City is available to listen to on Spotify so if you're a rock fan and you don't know these songs check them out before you do anything else and smile wistfully at the marvellous guitar playing of the late great Mark Reale.

Review of The Oceans We Are Drowned In by One Star Closer

This album may be the most remarkable album I've reviewed since I started working for Alternative Matter.

Remarkable because it appears to be the work of Vlad Petkevich, a one-man-band post-rock/ambient project from Minsk, Belarus.

Remarkable because that previous sentence is the sum total of information on One Star Closer/Vlad I have managed to find on the internet. The band's Facebook page has just 14 likes. And all the text is in Russian so I have no idea what those 14 people are saying about the album. Lucky for me the album and track titles are in English.

Remarkable because the music is of exceptionally high quality, superbly played and well-produced, albeit with what I assume are deliberate crackles as if it were on good old vinyl.

First track Sorry, It's Not About Space And Universe is simply gorgeous. Absolutely heavenly-sounding guitars twinkling away before drums enter playing almost a marching beat. Then after a couple of minutes we get some noisier, layered guitar and the whole thing continues to be gorgeous. The only downside is that it only lasts a little over three minutes in total.

Second track starts with piano and strings. If Vlad Petkevich is playing all this he is a special talent.

Third track starts with more piano, playing a lovely, lilting melody. Fourth track is similar to the others but doesn't reel repetitive, at least not in a bad way.

Fifth track Her Name Was Tragedy is piano and strings but has sampled some Michelle Pfeiffer dialogue from the movie I Am Sam. This serves to highlight the soundtrack quality of the music, which is no bad thing at all.

Okay, so you get the idea. The rest of the tracks follow this established pattern but all have a unique quality that stops the album getting dull. And as mentioned before, the skill involved in every part of this makes it more than worthwhile.

I just wish I knew more about One Star Closer and Vlad Petkevich.

Did he compose all the music himself? Did he play all the instruments? If not, who did? And did he record and produce everything himself sitting in his bedroom, which seems unlikely, or did he go into a studio? Which studio? Who paid for it?

And did he get permission to sample dialogue from a couple of movies?

Anyhoo, my fervent hope is that Vlad gets to read this and provide some answers.

The man may well be a musical genius and in five years everyone will know his name. I wouldn't be surprised. It feels like being at the birth of the universe.

I can confidently say that if you consider yourself any kind of a post-rock/ambient fan - however you interpret the term - then you will love this album.

How many times should you listen to an album before you know whether it's any good?

I've been writing reviews of (mostly) metal albums over the past year or so and one thing that has bugged me is if there is a required number of times you should listen to an album before writing a valid review.

I mean, can you honestly learn enough from one play of an album to get fully engaged with it? You might say that when it comes to metal albums once is more than enough - and I can see where you're coming from even if I don't agree - but I'm not sure that I'm entitled to write a critique of 50 minutes of music that an artist has sweated blood over for 2 or 3 years, having only played it once.

So that got me thinking that all reviewers should inform readers how many times they've listened to the album they are reviewing.

An interesting idea? Or just daft? Maybe both.

That then led me to think about albums from the last 30 or 40 years. What on earth could I have written about OK Computer after just one listen? Can I honestly say that I knew after that first listen that it was a masterpiece and that I would come to regard it as the greatest album of the 90s?

Maybe...but maybe not.

And even if I had picked up on its genius after the first play, there is no chance that I picked up on all the nuances, all the layers, all the ultimate joys of OK Computer...unless I am really, really smart.

Which I'm not.

Mind you, I was pretty sure that Kid A was bloody awful after the first play and I still stand by that.

Thirty years ago Queen released Hot Space. I can still vividly remember the first time I put that on the turntable. Jeepers, what the hell were they doing? So had I reviewed that after one play it would have been spectacularly negative. Probably after ten plays, too.

But you see, now...now, I consider it to be my second favourite Queen album. After Queen 1, of course. I am quite sure you think me bonkers - but that's okay. The Elder is my second favourite Kiss album (after Destroyer, natch) and EVERYONE hates The Elder.

So should I publish how many times I've listened to the album when I publish my next review? I think I will. Can't do any harm, can it?

And what albums did you hate on first listen but grow to love?

Indeed, what albums did you love at first but swiftly lose interest in?

Answers on a postcard yadda yadda yadda.